


Running on Borrowed Time

by SpaceKase



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Technically a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 11:25:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15363582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceKase/pseuds/SpaceKase
Summary: Noodle visits Murdoc in prison.The thing is, she doesn't know why.





	Running on Borrowed Time

**Author's Note:**

> I should mention that Gorillaz lore is over eighteen years old and incredibly messy; some things have been retconned, some things were assumed to be canon but never were, and overall, a LOT of things have happened to this fictional band.
> 
> So basically, take whatever events are mentioned here with a grain of salt.

There are _so_ many things she wants to say to him. So many things that have built up over the years; eighteen years, to be exact. Has it really been that long? Some days it feels shorter, but others it feels so much longer.

But the very minute she sits herself down in front of that glass and lays eyes on the mismatched ones poking out from green skin and shaggy greying hair, everything seems to dry up. 

Where to start? 

"'Ey there, Love." Despite the circumstances, Murdoc smiles at her. It's a genuine one; he'd once confided to her, while drunk out of his mind, that she was his favorite bandmate. 'Smarter 'n' that dullard and nowhere _near_ the arsehole Russ is,' that's what he'd said. 

At that point, Noodle had become rather fluent in the language of Murdoc Niccals, so she'd parsed exactly what he'd meant. "I love you, too. Now go take a shower," is what _she'd_ said. 

Despite everything, she still feels that way. She supposes it's some comfort, that he still loves her, too. 

Even so, it's painfully obvious...she's changed. She _knows_ she has. Noodle is no longer the experimental human raised to be a child soldier strictly but lovingly raised by Kyuza-sama, rest his soul. She's no longer the energetic ten-year-old these three well-meaning but painfully inept men essentially raised for months. She's no longer the pretentious but creative and inspired teenager who created Demon Days, nor is she the young, hurting woman who'd wanted revenge on the man before her during the Plastic Beach debacle. 

She's turning twenty-eight this year, and she realizes how she's grown, while the man before her...hasn't. 

At all.

The fact that he's landed himself back in here makes it painfully obvious. 

"Hello, Murdoc." She manages to smile back at him. "How are you holding up?" Noodle can't exactly ask how he's doing; he's in prison. She _knows_ the answer to that question. This is the next best thing. 

"Been better, Noodz." She grimaces at the old nickname; it's an affectionate one, but considering how many times she's been asked for nudes, it doesn't have the same strange sweet charm to it anymore. "The food's shit; so's the entertainment. But my cellmate’s at least not a bastard; huge step up from prison in Mexico."

"Oh?" They're talking about this now, apparently. Murdoc opening up about himself is usually a mixed bag; watching him get close to self realization is always something to behold, but it usually comes with far more information than anyone listening ever wants to know about him. Noodle still feels like she owes Alannis Morisette a huge apology. Really, she's fairly certain she owes a _lot_ of people an apology on behalf of Murdoc Niccals.

Really, that's the entire problem. She and Russel and 2D have been apologizing for him for eighteen years now...the only one who's never done it is Murdoc, himself.

"Blue-haired bloke; wears a mask. Some sorta facial trauma or some shit? Quiet; keeps to 'imself." He shakes his head in a way that almost makes him look sad. "Fuckin' crazy. Poor son of a bitch. Still, _huge_ step up from past cellmates."

Noodle nods. "That's good." Esoterically, anyway. Nothing _about_ this situation can really be called 'good.'

"Don't s'pose you're here to pay my bail? All this time in here's let me think. I got all sorts of ideas for the band!" Murdoc's excited grin gives way to a sinister sneer. If Noodle hadn't grown so used to the villainous expression over the years, she might have actually been frightened. "All sorts of ideas on what to do to ol' Face-Ache, too."

Noodle sighs. "Really? _That's_ what you're focused on right now? More time in prison was a good opportunity for you to self-reflect...maybe change yourself for the better. I'd hoped you would have taken it."

The response clearly isn't what Murdoc had expected. Noodle's words seem to have temporarily shocked him out of whatever evil thoughts are going through his pickled mind. 

"I need to be honest with you, Murdoc...I don't know why I'm here."

"To give me an apology, of course!"

Noodle raises an eyebrow. "An apology? What for?"

Murdoc glares at her. "For Ace!"

Noodle shrugs. "He was in need of work. The Powerpuff Girls reboot hasn't been doing well; they haven't offered him an appearance there." She still has fond memories of The Powerpuff Girls cartoon; Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup had been her heroes when she was a child. Of _course_ Cartoon Network would continue to wring its neck after it had already been gone for years; it had been painful to watch. 

At least Ace is now faring better than poor Ms. Bellum. Noodle hasn't heard from her since the original show ended. 

"You _replaced me!_ With a member of the fucking _Gangrene Gang!"_

Noodle narrows her eyes at him. So _that's_ what this isabout. "Yes, well. You replaced _me_ with an android of my teenaged self. Which _you made."_ She still has Cyborg Noodle's decapitated head somewhere in her belongings. It makes a fine vase for her succulent.

To his credit, Murdoc actually has the good sense to look a little ashamed. "I _wanted_ you for Plastic Beach, Love; _really,_ I did. But I didn't know where you were."

"Yes, you do. I was in Hell. Because of _you."_

Murdoc promptly shuts his mouth and looks down.

Noodle sighs, and looks down at her own hand. Absently, she starts to twirl the cord of the phone she's using to talk to Murdoc. "Ace could _never_ replace you, Murdoc. There's only _one_ Murdoc Niccals." _Very fortunately,_ she secretly thinks. "But we needed a bass player, and it turns out that he's good at it." She takes a deep breath and continues. "2D and Russel are happy right now, so you know. Thank you for asking." 

She's fairly certain Murdoc doesn't notice the dig she just made at his selfishness. If he does, he says nothing about it. "Good on them, then." He smirks at her. "Happy with each other, are they?" 

Noodle has no idea how he keeps getting wind of the news and rumors surrounding the band. Truthfully, she doesn't think she _wants_ to know. If it's true that he made a deal with some otherworldly force for fame and success, she wants nothing to do with it; she's had more than enough experience with that for one lifetime. "Yes. Very much so." Truth be told, she thinks that 2D and Russel haven't been this happy for quite some time. This is the happiest she's ever seen them; maybe it _is_ partially because Murdoc is no longer there to torment 2D or make cracks at the expense of Russel's weight and mental health or either of their sexual orientations, but a good chunk of it is because they've found romance with each other. 

Noodle's just as happy for them, really. 

Murdoc is chuckling. "Always knew it. Fuckin' fa--"

 _"Stop."_ Noodle leans forward and pinches the bridge of her nose. "They're not the only ones, you know." Then she glares at him. The shocked look on his face makes this even more satisfying. "Whatever you have to say about them, you'll be saying about _me,_ too."

A silence passes between the two of them before Murdoc sighs. He runs a hand through his oily bangs and closes his eyes. Not for the first time, he looks like his full fifty-two years. "I'm sorry, Noodle. You know me; I'm from a different time. You know any fucked-up shit that comes out of my mouth isn't my fault; you know what a lousy childhood I've had."

Noodle isn't surprised. Of _course_ it isn't Murdoc's fault. It's _never_ Murdoc Niccals' fault. 

"Russel has been a constant victim of spectral possession ever since he was little; he's witnessed mass murders and has struggled with his mental health his whole life. I was a literal child soldier who spent her formative years in the afterlife. And yet, neither of us are sitting where you are. What, exactly, is your point?" Noodle isn't perfect; she knows, very well, that she isn't perfect. But neither has her life, and she's still done her best to be a good person. She knows that the same thing is true of Russel. 

Maybe there was a time in her life when she truly felt sorry for Murdoc; maybe there was a time, when she was young and naive, when she would have bought his sob stories and used them to excuse whatever horrible, selfish thing he’d recently done.

Not anymore. She’s lived through eighteen years of this, and she’s finally decided that enough is enough.

Murdoc stares at her. It looks like this is the first time anyone has ever brought up this point to him. Noodle isn't surprised by that, either; he's so used to women falling at his feet, so used to getting his way all the time, so used to being the center of his own universe, so used to constantly being cooed over and excused by fans, that it makes sense that he hasn't ever thought of this before. 

Noodle sighs. "You haven't changed at all, Murdoc. The world has changed; _I've_ changed. _Russel and 2D_ have changed. The only one who refuses to do so is you. You're never going to become a better person, are you?"

It's a rhetorical question and she knows it. 

Because Murdoc's response is "So, I take it you're not here to pay my bail?"

Noodle gives him a long, hard look before finally saying "No," and hanging up the phone.

She doesn't look back.


End file.
